June 6,2006

Got the call today that Sammy (Soo Min) had been issued his PASSPORT!!!!!!!!!!  It had been 12 days since we had gotten EP.   Things so far were running according to the schedule we had been told.  We now had another 2-4 weeks to wait for his travel clearance.  I wanted to start pricing out airfare to LA, and I was checking the dates around the time the Birthland Tour was coming home.  I kept being warned by the Dillon staff that there was a good chance that Sammy would be cleared in time to come home with them, but I should not plan on it, just in case.  That was hard to hear.  I was so close and I felt like the slightest thing might make my world crumble around me.  I just needed to hear something definite from someone.  It was agonizing knowing that my child was so far away growing older by the minute and doing all sorts of cute things and I was missing it.  I don't know how to adequately convey how difficult it is to know that a child is yours and to have already fallen in love with this child and not be able to hold them and play with them and do all the things that Mommy and Daddy are supposed to do.   We enjoyed getting updates from Korea (video, pictures) but each time we did the ache in our heart grew bigger.  So, at this point in the game with Passport issued and the Birthland Tour coming home in 2 weeks, I was becoming very anxious.  I wanted to buy those tickets so that I would have something in front of me that said my baby was coming home.